Let me explain. In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", a document set forth as divine revelation by the leaders of our church, it says, "THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."
We believe that marriage is a commandment from God. We believe it leads to the greatest happiness we can find on this earth. And I know I'm not married yet but honestly, I really know it does. I've seen it! I know it takes a lot of work, especially nowadays when divorce seems so natural. But think of it this way.. love is a seed. At the beginning of a relationship it starts out small and it grows. You start to realize that its a good seed and that if you kept feeding it it would grow to be a tree that would bring forth even more good fruit. So you commit to growing this tree. Once you make that commitment it means that you have to nourish it all your life or else it will stop growing and start dying. Love isn't a magical force that requires nothing from us. So yes, though marriage can seem too big a decision to make at a young age I believe it isn't. It is a big decision. But men and women are supposed to be together. That is how Heavenly Father made us. And there are somethings you just can't learn without being in a marriage. Also, we have Christ to help us, so we aren't in it alone!
Now that I have said all of that, I will tell you the biggest reason why Latter-day Saints get married, whether young or not. We believe in eternal marriage. In weddings around the world the words pronounced are "till death do us part". Have you ever thought of that? The doctrine of eternal marriage promises that if you are worthily sealed in a temple of the Lord and live righteously all your days you can live with your companion (and children) forever as a family. There are many things we can't take with us after death. We can't take our homes, our jobs, our money... but because we know that eternal marriages allow us to take our loved ones with us, it is our greatest desire to have this kind of marriage in our lifetime. I hope that helps you to understand your Mormon friends and their desire for marriage a little bit better. If you want to know more you can visit: mormon.org/family
So now that you know the doctrine behind our marriage here's a little bit of insight into what a LDS marriage consists of- including traditions and popular trends.
1. Engagement
Engagements tend to be shorter than the norm (something that can also be said about the courtships). Here's my reasoning behind that. I think this is the case because we have a lot of faith in marriage. We know that it takes determination and work. So if you love someone and it feels right, marry them! And then resolve to serve the other person more then you serve yourself, and love them more than you love yourself. And trust in the Lord. I believe another reason for our short engagements lies in our belief in the law of chastity, meaning that sexual intercourse is reserved for marriage. Its simple: the longer an engagement the greater the temptation to become overly intimate before the right time.
1.5 Engagement Pictures
Awe, these are the best! I can scroll through all of my married LDS Facebook friends pages and find their engagement pictures. Its a great way to commemorate the beginning of a life together. And then of course you have pictures to send out with your wedding invitations. I wont lie, at BYU almost every apartments refrigerator door is covered in wedding announcements.
2. Wedding Day
The temple sealing ceremony happens in... the temple! It can be in whatever temple the couple desires but an appointment has to be made in advance. Usually the ceremony occurs in the morning. Only certain people are allowed to attend this ceremony. I know this is usually the strangest part for people outside of our faith to understand. Its just that we consider it a very holy, sacred ordinance. You have to be an endowed member and hold a current temple recommend to enter into the temple for this.
After the ceremony the couple emerges from the temple together (usually with their family and friends who attended the ceremony) to meet the rest of their guests. Often they proceed to a location where they can take wedding pictures. (Note: modest wedding dresses are worn as a reflection of the sanctity of the temple our bodies our)
Since the actual wedding ceremony (the sealing) isn't attended by many people the bride and groom usually hold a reception or lunch (or both) after.
Receptions usually consist of dinner and a few toasts. Sometimes the couple will exchange vows and/or rings. There is often a bouquet and garter toss. The couple can choose to have a dance as well.
As in a typical wedding the bride and groom leave in a vehicle together at the end of the evening, shown off by their friends and family.
3. After the wedding
The rest is all very normal! The married couple (usually) goes off on their honeymoon. Then they move in together! Life has only just begun... and imagine! Their love has an eternity to develop.
